I feel so unsettled. It has been on my mind a lot in the last year. I wasn't happy having a commission job without benefits. I hated not knowing what I was going to make each month. I hated taking vacation and not getting paid a single dime. I always thought I would own my own house by now but we don't. I finally feel like I am in my big girl job and ready to start putting down roots. However, we can't buy a house. We have no idea where Nic might find his forever job in the next year and it would be dumb of us to buy a house in Bellingham knowing that. It drives me crazy not knowing! We would love to have a child when Nic finishes school. Part of me doesn't want to because we rent and I can't even paint the walls to make a nursery! I know that's dumb but it is one of the things I think about. I want to make things my own and I can't. I am just a little frustrated and wish I had a magic eight ball to show me the future! Until they make one that can 100% tell me what life holds, I will trust in God that he has amazing plans for us!
until next time.....
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