Free time makes me...

...think and ponder

The fourth of July means sloooooooooooow time at the salon. Normally, I welcome this slow time. It means I get to go outside and play and enjoy the sun! However, two extremely slow days in a row (yesterday no clients today one haircut tomorrow 3 haircuts) puts me in a really sour mood. In all honesty, it makes me feel worthless. Like I have no purpose and am not pulling my own weight. HUMPH... It reminds me why I am in school to get a job that is not commission and has set hours and pay. As time is winding down at school, I am starting to get antsy and nervous. Can I really perform well at this job? Do I know what I'm doing? I just have to remember that what I learned in school are the basics and what I don't know... well I will learn it on the job! But boy is that scary! I had my last final today and externship starts on Monday! I went and shadowed after class today to see what the office was like. I didn't want any surprises on Monday! I know I will mess up and that I don't know everything but I'm excited to get in other peoples mouths!!! Yes, I'm weird and sick and gross but it's fun stuff to me! I actually wish I was starting tomorrow. There is a patient coming in for 6 extractions in preparation for a partial denture! That is some cool stuff to me!

I was also thinking about this summer. Nic was already gone for 2 weeks in North Dakota for labs. He was gone a day or two to do field work. He was gone in Alaska for 4 days with my dad fishing. He is gone next week and thus dreaded summer field work begins. Home a week gone a week home a week gone a week and then gone even more in August than every other week. I won't lie. It is nice to have alone time. People always say, "oh my gosh how do you do that!" It's fine at first. I get to eat whatever I want for dinner. Okay, confession time. I had a box of mac n cheese and 3/4 bottle of wine for dinner the other night...and it was darn good! I can watch whatever shows I want. I stay out later and catch up with friends. And when I take it one day at a time, I'm okay. But then I have this free time to think about the amount of time I am here in Bham and Nic is gone. After a while, you start to feel single. Not in the way of going out and looking for hot guys but rather routine wise that it is just me.

Now you know why I don't like free time... it makes me confront those thoughts!

until next time...